Key decisions went against the ladies as they failed to hold onto 2-0 and 3-2 leads against Southend.
Southend's first goal, with Spurs 2-0 up, looked suspiciously offside and their late equaliser came via a hotly-disputed penalty.
Spurs played well early on and took just eight minutes for their first decent attempt as Chloe Theocharis, a summer signing from Enfield Ladies, shot just past the post from long range. Zoella Freeman was the next just wide with a lob four minutes later.
Theocharis shot over after 20 minutes but it was soon 1-0 when Freeman's fine individual effort from the edge of the area found the bottom corner.
Mo Cordes had a shot turned around the post but from the corner Theocharis shot home through a crowd of players to make it 2-0.
Southend's debatable opener made it 2-1 within a minute and after 28 minutes was 2-2 with a shot from close range.
Five minutes into the second half Gill Blackmore ran from the Spurs half before hitting the side netting with a shot from inside the area but Spurs grabbed the lead five minutes later as the impressive Cordes swept the ball into the net from a cross by Lorraine Sparrow.
Freeman hit the woodwork from 15 yards and Cordes produced a fine save from the visiting keeper as Spurs pushed forward for the fourth - only to be denied by the late penalty.
Spurs Ladies Hills, Brigitte, Curtis, Djoshkoun, Herrett, Farnum, Blackmore, Theocharis, Cordes and Freeman. Subs: Sparrow, Daniells.
